Being in an unhealthy relationship can be very confusing and isolating.
We have created some videos to highlight a few red flags of unhealthy behavior. There is also a list of resources if you or someone you know needs help getting out of an abusive situation.
People who abuse others may have learned this behavior from family members or other people in their life at a young age. They may have developed the behavior out of a feeling of powerlessness at some point in their life, so they abuse others in order to regain some sense of control. Regardless of how someone developed this behavior, it is often acted out in an effort to exert power or control over another person. When someone abuses someone else, they are using threatening behaviors to manipulate the other person into doing what they want. Abuse is often present in unhealthy relationships.
Any healthy relationship with another person, whether with a friend, family member, or romantic partner, begins with a healthy relationship with yourself . You have value and are worthy of healthy love and relationships. Check out these videos to learn more!
Although healthy relationships can vary there should always be consistent qualities.
Although healthy relationships can vary there should always be consistent qualities. Communication is vital for any relationship. Healthy communication is the glue that holds relationships together. We all have different ways of communicating, processing, and understanding information which might lead to miscommunication if we don’t have the right tools and awareness. Watch these videos for some helpful tips and tools for healthy communication.
The next quality of healthy relationships that we are spotlighting is boundaries. You may have heard of boundaries before, but understandably might still feel a little confused. Let’s clarify what boundaries are and why they are so important! Boundaries are simply limits that you put in place to help keep you and your partner safe. Setting and maintaining boundaries are extremely important in any relationship. These videos explain boundaries really well – feel free to check them out.
Consent is clearly defined as a “verbal” and “enthusiastic” YES for each and every sexual act. Before any sexual activity, clear and confirmed consent is required to avoid any type of sexual harassment or abuse. Consent is extremely important, so we created a video fully explaining different situations and scenarios. Check it out here!
Here is another great video created by Blue Set Studio that explains what consent is in the context of drinking tea. This video may seem silly, but its goal is to explain the simplicity of consent when broken down, not make light of this extremely important topic.
We hope that you found those videos to be helpful in explaining what consent really is and why it is so important. If you have experienced any kind of sexual harassment or abuse, please know that you have value and you are not alone. Although you may feel damaged or broken, please hear that you are beautifully and wonderfully made and you deserve to be treated in a way that honors, values, and protects you. If you are hurting or just need someone to talk to, please do not hesitate to reach out to our team. We would love to walk with you and support you in any way we can. Below is another resource that you may find helpful.
https://www.rainn.org/resources
National Sexual Assault Hotline: (800)656-4673
STI:
An infection that is highly contagious
Asymptomatic-no symptoms
Make look and feel fine but still contagious
STD:
A disease that is highly contagious
Symptomatic- showing physical symptoms
This means that you can see STDs, and you cannot see STIs. A good way to remember this is by thinking of the I in STI as INVISIBLE.
Someone without symptoms may not think of themselves as having a disease, but they may still have an infection that needs treating. This is why it is so important to get regular testing once after every new sexual partner or once a year if you are in a committed, sexual relationship.[1]
Approximately 20 million new STIs are contracted each year in the United States.2 That is more than the population of New York City (8,000,000+), Chicago (2,700,000+), Miami (408,000+), and Los Angeles (3,800,000+) combined! Half of those people (10 million) are 15-24 year old’s.3
That means 1 in 4 teenagers contract an STI each year!4
A recent study found that teenagers were more likely to contract an STI because they are less educated and prepared for how to protect themselves during sexual activity. It is extremely important to know how to protect yourself during sexual activity to reduce the risk of contracting an STI.5
Have a conversation with your partner before any sexual activity! Spending time and getting to know someone before engaging in sexual activity is one of the best ways you can protect yourself from contracting an STI. When you know you can trust someone, you will feel more comfortable asking someone the necessary questions, such as, “When was the last time you were tested?” “Do you have any STIs” and “If yes, what can we do to protect ourselves?” Use condoms! Condoms are the only form of contraception that reduces the risk of contracting STIs. You can still contract an STI when using a condom, but they reduce the risk! If you are choosing to be sexually active, you should get tested either once after every new sexual partner or once a year if you are in a committed relationship. You can either go to your primary care doctor or to a clinic to get tested. Make sure to wait at least two weeks after the sexual encounter before you get tested so that you have accurate results.
Remember protecting our health is our responsibility! It’s also our responsibility to respect our partner and their health by having the necessary testing and conversations. If you contract an STI at some point in your life, it’s not the end of the world. You are not dirty or gross. A lot of STIs are curable, and they are all treatable! Let’s all do our best to continually educate and protect ourselves and others.
1 Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI).” Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI) | AVERT. N.p., n.d. Web <http://www.avert.org/sex-stis/sexually-transmitted-infections>.
2 (n.d.): n. pag. Reported STDs in the United States. CDC. <https://www.cdc.gov/std/stats14/std-trends-508.pdf>. (Accessed 07/07/16)
3(n.d.): n. pag. Reported STDs in the United States. CDC. <https://www.cdc.gov/std/stats14/std-trends-508.pdf>. (Accessed 7/07/2016)
4 https://www.cdc.gov/std/products/youth-sti-infographic.pdf
5 “Incidence, Prevalence, and Cost of Sexually Transmitted Infections in the United States..” Center for Disease Control. http://www.cdc.gov/std/stats/sti-estimates-fact-sheet-feb-2013.pdf (accessed July 22, 2014)
6 Minnesota Department of Health. About STD Awareness Month, STD Awareness Month Facts. MDH. Accessed March 10, 2015.